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I love to debate, or as henceforth I shall call it argue. I will use argue because it contains one less letter that debate. I used to compete in school at arguing, sometimes even for a grade. I was told I was good at it, whatever. I enjoy arguing a variety of issues and topics. I tend to stick to personal observations I have made about those issues and topics. I do not enjoy the microscopic examination of the individual facets of issues. It requires a sum of knowledge not always had by ones opponent. Another issue in arguing is keeping the discourse based in the real world. It sometimes very hard to accomplish these simple things on the Vine. Ahead are some types of posers/personalities that I have encountered on Newsvine when attempting to offer my thoughts/opinions or asking questions in an attempt to form some thoughts or opinions. See if you recognize any of these winners.
1) The Link Pusher.....
This is the person for whom, no matter what you say or how you say it or couch it, you will be asked to provide a link to an evidentiary web site to support your words. These are individuals who believe the world is flat and 17" wide. That all knowledge originated on the web. Folks for whom Google is an omniscient being. When faced with this poser try pointing out that the sun being in the sky is generally accepted as fact.
2) The Critic....
This particular person will provide you with an in depth and sometimes surgical assessment on your comment. Addressing the the issue or the topic is not a concern for the critic. Your grammar will be grilled. Your punctuation perforated. Your ability to adequately address the subject at hand assaulted. One way to deal with this is to point out the nations lack of potential teachers and suggest they apply their obvious talents.
3) The Dictator....
This poser is so full of themselves that they will not even deign to converse with you until you have met certain stringent guidelines. They will be more than happy and probably already have pointed out what these guidelines are.
You must present your argument thus....
You must lay out your facts like so........
Once your blood pressure returns to normal levels, you might point out that you had missed the recent announcement proclaiming that they had been left in charge of The Vine. Or you could suggest that they start their own website whereby they may control every aspect of discourse.
4) The Hysteric....
This individual is so emotionally involved with an issue that they have turned rabid. Some quick clues to identifying the hysteric are multiple typos in a single comment and or remarks relating to torture and or mutilation. This person is hitting the keys so hard as they type, it is leaving indentations on your screen. Facts and reality have no meaning for the hysteric. "The sky is falling, The end is near, Break out the torches and pitchforks!!" I have found no effective method for dealing with the hysteric. But if you practice patience and stick to your point, and above all remain firmly rooted in actual reality, they will generally give up in a huff and seek more agreeable prey. Strangely enough these are my favorite people to argue with.
5) The Psychologist....
This person is the most amusing. They will unhesitatingly reveal to you your inner most self. They will know your motivations before you can comprehend them yourself. Not only do they know how you feel on any given subject, but why you feel that way as well. Some even go so far as to suggest possible treatment options and medications you may wish to inquire about at your next visit to your physician to treat your condition. The diagnoses is, of course, free of charge. If you encounter this pose try pointing out that ego-mania is sometimes considered an un-healthy mental condition.
6) The Juvenile
Your first clue when encountering this person is simple. If your automatic response after reading their comment is to reach up and slap your screen, you are probably with The Juvenile. The juvenile may have an extensive vocabulary, but not so great a grasp on usage. A dead give away here is the use of $40 worth of two dollar words to present a nickles worth of thought. Another easy identifier is the insults that will be hurled at you for not falling for their game. The juvenile almost always reverts to their everyday speech and language at that point. If you read an insult that you have not heard since monkey bars were fun for you, probably a juvenile. The best way to deal with the juvenile is to slyly, in your responses, mention snack foods. Pizza Rolls, Hot Pockets, Pudding in a Cup, cereal, chips, Slim Jims. Won't be long before they log off to holler at mom for a snack.
7) The Political Conservative....
These people usually leave me with my mouth hanging open in abject incredulity. They have no trouble somberly informing you that no matter what the circumstance, it is your fault, and, your problem. Were a political conservative to burn down your domicile, they would patiently explain why you should not have built it in such close proximity to the flames. They will happily explain to you why it is not only good for this country to work in near slave conditions, but also why you are so lucky to have the opportunity. The political conservative would not change a thing. Provided, of course, things are as they should be. The conservative has only one speed..... reverse. They will balk at any change and will always at some point express a longing to return to better times that have never existed outside of Utopian novels. You can argue with a conservative. They are generally a polite and cordial lot. They may even grant you a point or two. But in the end, with a wistful sigh they will return to the land of reminiscence.
8) The Political Liberal....(you knew it was coming at some point)
These individuals will drive you to drinking faster than an eeeevile ex-wife. They are impatient, arrogant, and duplicitous. They will quickly dismiss out of hand, any comment voiced in disagrement. Their vocabulary is acidic. The liberal is a political island, an ideology unto the individual. Responsibility, outside of praise, just does not exist for the liberal. You can expect a liberal to change their stance or view on any issue based on tides( incoming or outgoing), crossing time zones, the prevailing winds, the remotest possibility that they may have to accept responsibility for something they( allegedly) may have supported gone wrong, daylight savings time(ahead or back), and the seasons. The political liberal will not be grouped with nor compared to, other political liberals. Again they are islands unto the individual. The liberal does not actually require you to have an argument. The liberal has never been wrong, other liberals may have been, but not this liberal. Your only recompense when arguing with the liberal is when they start talking about your mother you know you have scored a point in your favor.
9) Me and those of a similar bend....
A conservative person, yet liberal in the passion with which we pursue our beliefs. Those who do not require the recognition of others to measure our own worth. Polite and courteous as long as it is returned. Those with the self assurance and the life experience to believe what we have to say has pertinence but not, necessarily, importance. Those who realize some vital truths:
You cannot change the mind of another with words alone. But you can hope to have made them think, if only for a moment.
Those who feel it is better to look the fool for speaking our minds. Than to spend a lifetime feeling like a fool for never having spoken.
Those who realize that what we say today, here on The Vine, will probably have no impact on the world tomorrow. But we said it anyway.
Those who know that the President probably will not be calling, having been impressed by our words. Larry King will not be wondering idly whether or not we have an agent. That we will not, in all likely hood, be called to attend any meeting of the movers and shakers. Yet still feeling we had something to say and had the courage to say it..........Type Your Article Here ...
