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My friend KYPIAKOC invited me to join in an April Fools Day event. This is my attempt to honor that invitation. As most who know and have read my comments I am not of the liberal bend so I will attempt to........... Well what ever here goes..........
Once years ago, a friend and I went shell cracker fishing on Lake Talquin in Florida. Twas a glorious day and shell cracker fishing is nothing short of "Disney World Fun." We have about 2-5 cane poles apiece and we watch those orange pieces of cork till they stand straight up and begin to move towards shore and then it's on. We had a gentleman move up nearly in front of us while we were pulling them in which prompted a rather coarse remark from from my friend Steve about the manners of folk from Georgia. This same fool from Georgia then proceeded to toss a Pepsi bottle and an empty worm cup in to the water right in front of our boat. I didn't hesitate, I whapped him in the head with one of my poles and told him to retrieve his trash. He was, shall we say, less than cooperative. At which point with a deft maneuver of the paddle Steve turned our boat and yanked the SOB into the lake and in no uncertain terms explained the benefits of clean living. Every time he attempted to get back in his boat we whapped him some more till he cleaned up his crap. We then allowed him back on board his vessel and he promptly took off back across the lake. I use this story to illustrate that as individuals we can all help our environment. Though this, unless you are born southern and can get mean at the mere suggestion of hat dropping, is probably not the example you will want to try...............
I offer some suggestions here that while not all are cost free, many are and this will also help in the enforcement of many rules and regs already on the books.
1) Any company that dumps into water any kind of industrial waste product and claims it is safe for the environment will have to use that water inside the plant for drinking and washing. Upper echelon management will also have to bath in said water once a week.
2) If you are company that spews out waste into the air. The product produced by your smoke stacks will piped into your boardrooms at all times. If it is safe for the Earth I am sure you will not mind.
3) It will no longer be considered destruction of private property if the following occurs; You see someone dumping 6 weeks of fast food trash out into the parking lot and you as witness to said atrocity pick up the nearest trash can that the offender so studiously ignored and dump the contents of said can into their car as a thank you gift for being so considerate of others.
4) Any and all personnel involved in any phase of a nuclear power facility from construction to operation to inspection shall henceforth live on the grounds of that reactor with families. I can think of no better guarantee that safety WILL be first after that.
5) If any governmental agency informs me that something is safe to eat, drink, smell, look at, touch, breath, consume for medical purposes. Henceforth the head of said agency shall be doing so first and often.
6) One day of each week shall be designated "No Driving Day" the days will be split into letter groups corresponding to last names so you can still get a ride in the event that number 7 has not been implemented yet. Example Mondays will be A-E no driving on Monday for you and so on. This will promote healthy social interaction, save gas, encourage carpooling, and help with those pesky airborne pollutants.
7) Each and every city of any decent size shall have and maintain dependable reliable safe public transportation. These municipalities will have one year to implement. If not done within the one year. The governor and all mayors will have to stand in line at the DMV in their respective states and counties everyday WITH NO NUMBER until such time as implementation is completed or they go insane and have to be carted away.
8) Anyone offering up silly ideas that will produce more problems for the environment than they will solve shall spend no less than one year alone in the wilderness so that they may get a better appreciation for that which they are trying to save. This forced tranquility will be without the benefit of survival gear of any kind.
Anyway those are just a few of the ideas I have to help the environment and save a little money too. I am a believer in saving Mother Nature before she succeeds in ridding herself of the human infestation that plagues her.Type Your Article Here ...
